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Those Kids Said WHAT?! 28 Hilarious Real-Life Teacher Stories
American educators sent in their funniest classroom stories by the thousands. Read the $1,000 prize winner and more of our favorites.
“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”
A lot of teachers can relate to Kurt Vonnegut’s quote. From kindergarten to senior year, they’ve seen it all. So we recently asked members of this heroic profession to share their stories about the hilarious, sweet, droll, and occasionally clueless things their students do or say. Thousands wrote in, positive that their tale was worthy of the $1,000 grand prize . One was right. Here are the finalists, starting off with the A+ winning anecdote:
1. GRAND-PRIZE WINNER
After a coworker had finished his English lecture and his class had filed out, a tenth grader stayed behind to confront him.
“I don’t appreciate being singled out,” he told his teacher.
The teacher was confused. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know what the ‘oxy’ part means, but I know what a ‘moron’ is, and you looked straight at me when you said it.”
— Jannie Smith, Ashville, Alabama
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
2. Rock Me, Amadeus
Performing Mozart should have been the highlight of my middle school chorus class. But after a few uninspired attempts, an exasperated student raised her hand and said, “Mrs. Willis, we want to sing music from our generation, not yours.”
— Wendy Willis, Naples, Florida
3. Lost in Translation
To my German-language students, I’m “Frau Draper.” One girl gave me a pin she’d made with my name on it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t big enough to include my entire name, which meant that she presented me with a badge that read FRAUD.
—Cathleen Draper, Edmonds, Washington
4. Why Waste Paper?
I recently asked a student where his homework was. He replied, “It’s still in my pencil.”
—Larry Timmons, Surprise, Arizona
5. Money Laundering
“Don’t do that,” I said when one of my first graders playfully draped a dollar bill over his eyes. “Money is full of germs.”
“It is?” he asked.
“Yes, it’s very dirty.”
He thought about it a moment. “Is that why they call people who have a lot of it ‘filthy rich’?”
—Elizabeth Webber, Prospect Park, Pennsylvania
6. Me, Myself, and Him
—Susan Williams, Portland, Indiana
7. Hey, You!
My sixth-grade class would not leave me alone for a second. It was a constant stream of “Ms. Osborn?” “Ms. Osborn?” “Ms. Osborn?” Fed up, I said firmly, “Do you think we could go for just five minutes without anyone saying ‘Ms. Osborn’?!”
The classroom got quiet. Then, from the back, a soft voice said, “Um … Cyndi?”
—Cyndi Osborn, New York, New York
8. Driven Crazy
During the driver’s-ed class that my friend taught, a student approached a right turn.
“Use your turn signal,” my friend reminded her.
“No one’s coming,” said the student.
“It doesn’t matter. It might help those behind you.”
Chastened, the student turned around to the students in the backseat and said, “I’m turning right up ahead.”
—Joseph Wagner, Prineville, Oregon
9. That Aha! Moment
“Who discovered Pikes Peak?” I asked an eighth grader. He shrugged. “All right, here’s a hint,” I continued. “Who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb?”
“Grant?” he asked tentatively.
“Good. Now, who discovered Pikes Peak?”
—Max Campbell, Dowagiac, Michigan
10. Thanks for the Help
On the last day of the year, my first graders gave me beautiful handwritten letters. As I read them aloud, my emotions got the better of me, and I started to choke up.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m having a hard time reading.”
One of my students said, “Just sound it out.”
—Cindy Bugg, Clive, Iowa
11. Problem Solvers
The kids were painting a project for social studies and got some paint on the floor. Fearing someone might slip, I asked a student to take care of it. A few minutes later, a piece of paper appeared on the floor with the words Caution—Wet Paint.
—Christy Knopp, Fairfield, Ohio
12. Let’s Ask the Professor
During snack time, a kindergartner asked why some raisins were yellow while others were black. I didn’t know the answer, so I asked my friend, a first-grade teacher, if she knew. “Yellow raisins are made from green grapes, and black raisins are made from red grapes,” she explained.
One little boy suggested, “Maybe that’s why she teaches first grade, because she’s just a little bit smarter than you.”
—Erica Coles, Watertown, Tennessee
13. Buggin’ Out “In Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis ,” I said to my sophomore English class, “a man, discontented with his life, wakes up to find he has been transformed into a large, disgusting insect.”
A student thrust her hand into the air and asked, “So is this fiction or nonfiction?”
—Diane Sturgeon, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
14. Artist’s Rendition
For Columbus Day, I assigned my third-grade class the task of drawing one of Columbus’s three ships. I had no sooner sat down when a boy came up with his paper, which had a lone dot in the middle.
“What’s that?” I asked.
He replied, “That’s Columbus, way out to sea.”
—Dale Barrett, Concord, New Hampshire
15. Why, Thank You
As I welcomed my first-grade students into the classroom, one little girl noticed my polka-dot blouse and paid me the ultimate first-grade compliment: “Oh, you look so beautiful—just like a clown.”
—Priscilla Sawicki, Charlotte, North Carolina
16. Senior Moment
Halfway through the semester, I discovered that a student was retaking my course, even though he’d gotten an A- the first time through. When I asked him why, he had no recollection of having taken the class before.
“But you know,” he said, after mulling it over, “I thought some of this seemed familiar. I just couldn’t remember where I’d heard it before.”
—Lawanna Lancaster, Nampa, Idaho
17. Everybody’s a Critic
A junior in my English class gave a big thumbs-down to the autobiography he’d read. His reason: “The author talks about only himself.”
—Ruth Hunter, Shawnee, Oklahoma
18. Sticks and Stones
“I got called the g word,” sobbed a third-grade girl.
“OK. Let’s calm down,” I said, kneeling beside her. “Now, exactly what were you called?”
Between sobs she blurted, “G … g … jerk!”
—Steve Wright, Orangevale, California
19. It Doesn’t Add Up
When one girl had finished the English portion of the state exam, she removed her glasses and started the math questions.
“Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?” she was asked.
She responded, “My glasses are for reading, not math.”
—Kathy Olson, Roselle, Illinois
20. Fluent in English
Our assistant principal called in one of my underperforming Intro to Spanish pupils to ask why he was having trouble with the subject.
“I don’t know. I just don’t understand Ms. Behr,” the boy said. “It’s like she’s speaking another language.”
—Marcia Behr, Indiana, Pennsylvania
21. Here’s to the Parents
The fish tank in my classroom was brimming with guppies. So I told the kids they could have some as long as they brought in a note from home. That’s how I received the following: “Dear Mrs. Swanson, Would you please give Johnny as many guppies as you can spear, as we are going to bread them.”
—Sheryl Swanson, Billings, Montana
22. During a parent-teacher conference, a mother insisted I shouldn’t have taken points off her daughter’s English paper for calling her subject Henry 8 instead of Henry VIII.
“We have only regular numbers on our keyboard,” she explained. “No Roman numerals.”
—Lisa Rich, Milledgeville, Georgia
23. A note from a student’s mother: “Please excuse Chris from reading, because he doesn’t like it.”
—Roy Hartley, Elberton, Georgia
24. When her child’s towel was stolen during a school swimming trip, an irate parent demanded of my mother, “What kind of juvenile delinquents are in class with my child?!”
“I’m sure it was taken accidentally,” said Mom. “What does it look like?”
“It’s white,” said the parent. “And it says Holiday Inn on it.”
—Heather Lauby, St. Louis, Missouri
These Students Have All the Answers
25. Scene: History class.
Question: Name a famous explorer.
Answer: Dora.
—James Parks, Red Lion, Pennsylvania
Scene: Science class.
26. Question: Why would we not see meteors if Earth had no atmosphere?
Answer: Because we’d all be dead. Hubert Snyder,
—Grand Junction, Colorado
Scene: Second-grade class.
27. Question: How can we show respect to others?
Answer: If you have a piece of meat, you shouldn’t give it to anyone else if you’ve already licked it.
—Janaye Jones, Mesa, Arizona
Scene: Social studies class.
28. Question: What does right to privacy mean?
Answer: It’s the right to be alone in the bathroom.
—Deborah Berg, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Have a funny joke, quote, or story you’d like to see in the magazine Submit it here .
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So Not Getting The Point, Or The Points
I give my class a two-part assignment: answer some questions about the reading and then participate in the in-class discussion. Participation is graded on whether you show up and say at least one thing within a small group — nothing big.
A student doesn’t attend class and doesn’t explain their absence, so they receive credit for only the reading questions — five of ten points. They come to talk to me about two weeks later.
Student: “I don’t think it’s fair that I only got five points. Why didn’t I get all ten points?”
Me: “Because you only did half the assignment; you didn’t attend class for the discussion.”
Student: “I don’t think it’s fair, though. Can I have the other points back?”
Me: “No, you only did half the assignment.”
Student: “You didn’t say on the sheet that I was supposed to attend class. Can I have the other points back?”
Me: “When I introduced the assignment, I said you have to attend class to get full credit. The information about this group of assignments posted online says you need to attend class for full credit.”
Student: “I don’t think it’s fair. Can I have the points back?”
Student: “It’s only five points. Can’t I just have the points?”
Student: “Can I do another assignment?”
Student: “Can’t I just do an extra credit assignment?”
Student: “It’s not fair!”
Me: “If you don’t like it, you can talk to the department chair and I’ll go with her decision.”
Student: “No, no, that’s not necessary! I just wondered if I could have the points.”
Student: “I didn’t know I had to come to class.”
Me: “No! This is really my final word. If you can’t accept it, you really need to talk to the department chair.”
Student: “No, that’s not necessary. This is not a big deal. I just don’t think it’s fair. It’s only five points.”
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She Zapped This Assignment With Zero Chill
Last month, my daughter’s middle school English teacher asked her students to write a haiku to review for a vocabulary test. The haiku had to utilize at least one of their vocabulary words. The teacher also gave them another specific instruction remarking that the students were NOT allowed to end their haikus with the word “refrigerator,” which is a popular joke in haiku circles as the word contains five syllables.
So, my daughter came up with this little gem:
Poem: “Refrigerator
I circumvented the rule
Haha microwave”
I eventually stopped laughing long enough to wipe away my prideful tears and give her a hug. (“Circumvent” was one of their vocabulary words.)
Her teacher just laughed and said, in a slightly annoyed tone:
Teacher: “That’s very clever.”
My daughter received full credit on the assignment.
Didn’t Ex-speck-t To Be So Sleepy
I’m on the phone with a friend late at night. I’m working with some software for a hobby, and she’s writing a paper for school.
Friend: “Why won’t this period delete?!”
Me: “Is it a speck on your screen?”
There’s a moment of silence.
Friend: “Yes…”
Me: *Trying not to laugh* “That’s what you get for writing a paper at 11:42 at night!”
Guess You’ll Just Have To Find Someone Who Actually Works Here
When I was at university, I took a Woman’s Studies course. We had a paper to write about gender differences within the toy industry and early childhood development.
My childhood dream of spending three and a half hours in a toy store was way less fun when I realized it as an adult.
For our paper, we had to go to a toy store and make a detailed map of the entire store — which sections were next to which other sections, etc. Then, we had to go and find two items in each section and rate them on four different criteria. Finally, we had to go and ask a store employee to give advice on what toy we should get for a fictional four-year-old boy/girl.
I went to a now bankrupt big box toy store. I had a clipboard, and I first went around and made a detailed map of the store. Then, I went back and created my itemized list and started categorizing two toys per section in each of the four criteria. As you can imagine, this took quite a while.
Occasionally, as I was doing my task, people would ask me questions. Since I had just made a map, I was able to answer quite a few of their questions.
Me: “The stuffed animals, ma’am? That’s aisle four, right next to the doll houses.”
Me: “You’re looking for a microscope? That would be in educational toys in the far right corner of the store, next to the grow-your-own crystal set.”
One customer asked:
Customer: “Where are the tricycles? And the bicycles?”
I promptly told them the difference between each section. They went to look and came back.
Customer: “Can you get me a different color from the back?”
Me: “Oh, I don’t actually work here. I’m just a student doing a project.”
They rolled their eyes and left in a huff, and I could tell that they thought I was just a lazy employee with a clipboard.
Attention Means Different Things To Different People
My high school experience was an exercise in frustration for everyone involved. I was in a lot of high-level classes because my test scores were excellent, especially in languages. I never got less than an A on any language test — English, Spanish, or French. Even scoring under a 95% was a rarity.
However, most of my language teachers found this irritating rather than encouraging because I “didn’t pay attention in class” — I drew during lectures — and my homework grades were abysmal due to me almost never handing anything in. In hindsight, I think many of them believed I had to be cheating, especially the one who refused to give me a bonus point on a test that would have tipped my average to an A for the quarter because I was “not an A student” due to my study habits, according to her.
My mom tended to have to sit on me during the last week of each quarter and force me to complete my backlog of missing assignments just so I didn’t completely tank my otherwise good grades. Like I said, frustration for everyone involved.
I had exactly one Spanish teacher who I was able to convince that I really was learning in class, regardless of what my pencil was doing at the moment. And it was completely by accident.
One day, she asked a general question of the class. I was the only one to raise my hand to answer. I did so, and she replied in a somewhat stunned tone that I was correct. Why so surprised? Because at no point in this process did I look up from the drawing I was working on with my other hand. I don’t think she figured out that the drawing was actually helping me pay attention, but she at least realized it wasn’t hindering anything and stopped admonishing me when she caught me doodling instead of taking notes.
Fifteen years later, guess who was diagnosed with ADHD-PI?
“Not an A student,” my left buttcheek.
Question of the Week
What’s the most unrealistic demand you’ve ever heard?
Annoying Homework
Submitted into Contest #7 in response to: Write a story that mixes everyday situations with surreal surroundings. ... view prompt
Holly Pierce
Fantasy Science Fiction Funny
Leigh Alvarado startled awake, her dog Willow jumping all over her. The mechanical dog stood stiffly and the robotic voice said, “Homework due today. English essay, five paragraphs. Two more paragraphs must be finished.” Leigh groaned I frustration. She had totally forgotten to do her homework.
She twisted in her bed to strap herself down and flipped the gravity switch. Leigh grabbed her homework off the ceiling, and pressed the purple button on her bed. It zoomed to the kitchen, where Leigh slowly lowered herself into her electronic legs, made by the best cyclops in town.
On the counter, she pressed the automatic food button, and searched for her favorite: peanut butter and jelly. The machine whirred to life, and immediately started to make her food. She added a few more sentences to her essay, and packed the peanut butter and jelly sandwich into her lunchbox.
Leigh grabbed her favorite ax, and chopped her mom’s bedroom door down, the best way to wake her up to get ready for work. Today was the last week of school, and of course she woke up late with homework to do. She jotted down a few more sentences, then shoved the homework into her bag. She started to walk out the door, when she noticed she forgot something very important. She was still in her pajamas.
Leigh pulled the small steel box from her pocket, and switched the lever that unfolded the chair. She buckled herself in and zipped across the ceiling back to her room. Without the directions programmed into all her items, she would get lost in the labyrinth of rooms she called home. Leigh quickly threw on her favorite jeans and sweater, and zip lined to the front door.
Just as she ran outside, the bus floated to her door, four stories above the street below. Leigh activated the invisible bridge, and walked to the bus. She sat in seat seven, put on her headphones, and wrapped her blanket around herself. She was already looking forward to the weekend, and Monday had just started. She grudgingly pulled out her essay, about the wyverns, severely underpaid for their labor. Leigh remembered when wyverns were uncivilized beasts, incapable of human speech and was glad they had adapted to the more civilized life of the cyclopes and humans.
The essay was finally finished, just as the bus pulled into the academy floating above them. Leigh’s first class was English, which she was slightly worried about, due to her rushed essay. The class went smoothly, because her teacher, a faerie, was grading papers tomorrow. Afterwards, Leigh went to Mythology, on the other side of the school. As she ran down the halls of the academy, she quickly slipped a translator over each ear, which translated mermaid speech into English.
Mermaids were not common in this part of the city because there was little water, but the mythology teacher had a pool built into the wall of the classroom. Without the translators, her language would sound like gurgling bubbles, and the class would learn nothing.
Almost to class, she realized she forgot her Mythology tablet in her locker. Leigh quickly found her locker, number 777, and grabbed her tablet. She sprinted to class and arrived at the door to the classroom out of breath, just as the late bell rang. Leigh sat in her seat, and prepared herself for another long, boring lecture about undersea lifestyles, and the cyclopes history.
Homework piled on as the day progressed, and Leigh worried about finishing all of it on time. Another essay for English, this time about a book was due on Thursday, an at-home science lab was due tomorrow. She also had thirty-two pages to read for Mythology, as well as a painting due tomorrow in art, and a paper to fill out about extra-curricular activities, such as discus throwing, basketball, and and art club. Plus, her homework from Friday was due tomorrow. Leigh was completely swamped.
During lunch, she read the pages on her tablet for Mythology and answered the questions that followed. She also filled out what she could on the science worksheet, and began her English essay. Leigh’s workload of homework was decreasing, but very slowly. Nobody, not even her parents, understood how hard she worked to get good grades. The final bell rang, and Leigh packed her bag and walked outside to wait for the bus. The bus floated over two minutes later, and Leigh pulled out her tablet to start the painting for art class. After a while, she started on her extra-curricular activities sheet. All she needed was a parent signature, and the form would be filled out. She worked on her essay, then put all her stuff away when she heard the automated voice of the bus say, “Next stop, Leigh Alvarado.”
Willow ran up and jumped all over Leigh. “Don’t forget your homework.” The robotic voice said. All she had left for homework was the English essay and science project, so she quickly did the science project before her mom got home. Leigh finished her chores then ran to the door when she heard her mom’s hover-car pull up outside the front door. As her mom walked inside, Leigh ran up to her.
“Mom, can I please go to Amy’s house for a party tonight? Please, please, please?”
“Leigh, I got a call from the secretary. You had and English paper due today, and you didn’t ‘remember’ it when I asked if you had homework. Also, your grades have gone from A pluses to low A’s. I think you should spend more time on school work and less time with your friends.”
“But can I go to the party please?”
“Did I not make myself clear? You are not going to this party, or any party until you raise these unacceptable grades. Did you even do your homework today, and all your chores?”
Leigh said, “Yes, all my homework is done, and all my chores are done. Most kids have C’s and D’s. At least my grades are still A’s. I can easily get them back to A pluses. I already started a bunch of extra-credit work for each of my classes. Please just let me go to this party.”
“Leigh. I said no. Let me see the extra-credit work. If it looks alright, you need to do all your laundry, fix Buster’s collar, set the table, and be polite. Then, we’ll see about the party. What time does it begin and end?”
“The party is from 6:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. I will do everything you said okay? I really want to go.”
“Will there be dinner food at the party?”
“Good. Do what I said, and I will let you go.”
“Thank you, so much Mom.”
Leigh showed her mom the extra-credit papers, and her mom approved. After that, Leigh put her laundry in the machine and told it the settings for the washer and dryer. Next, she had to fix Buster’s collar, which she was supposed to have done last week. The only thing wrong was the dented piece that was out of place. She searched through the spare parts bucket, and found the perfect piece. With Buster’s collar fixed, she set the dinner table, and cleared the lunch table in the sunroom. Her mom gave her the okay, and she zip lined through the carnival hall, to her favorite painting.
She pressed the golden eye of the ancient animal, called a wolf, and the painting swung into her closet. Leigh turned left and accidentally went back to the kitchen. Back in her closet, she walked along the purple ceiling and walls, searching for the perfect outfit. Leigh was glad she had convinced her mom to let her go, and silently congratulated herself for thinking of extra-credit work.
Then, on the ground level, she saw the perfect dress. It was modern, but not terribly so, and the blue lace and tulle really made it stand out against the rest of her clothes, which were mainly purple. She tried it on, and it fit perfectly. She vaguely remembered receiving the gift for her birthday, last year.
As she put on a little mascara and lip gloss, she really wished she had a new hairstyle. It had been ages since Leigh had changed her hair, and she picked up the frame by her bed, covered in a thick layer of dust. She poked her head through, and chose lavender with blue streaks, in a stylish new trend called a pixie cut, and invented by the pixies. It went perfectly with her dress, and she enjoyed the change from her usual strawberry-blonde hair. Leigh walked down the stairs and twirled in her dress. Her mom flashed her the look of approval.
“By the way, you’re paying for your own draxi. Dragons are charging way too much these days, and I’m saving up for an upgrade. Have fun at your party.”
Leigh groaned then ran back upstairs, grabbed thirty dollars, and walked to the door. The invisible bridge outside their house activated, and Leigh raised her arm and yelled, “Draxi! Draxi!”
A dragon whooshed down from the sky, and picked her up in its claws. It tossed her onto its back.
“Hi, my name is Ella. I’ll be your draxi flyer today. What is your destination?”
Leigh told Ella where to go, and went to her party. She had a lot of fun at the party, but she almost fell out of a window. But as she fell asleep that night, she realized she had forgotton to finish her painting due the next day.
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15 Students Who Hopefully Gave Their Teachers A Good Chuckle With These Answers
These students understood the assignment.
BuzzFeed Staff
1. This brilliant loophole:
My fourth grader’s math homework. She said, “This way I didn’t even need to think about it.” from funny
2. This kid who definitely thought he got away with it:
My son forged my signature on his homework. from funny
3. This very reasonable goal:
Found in my daughter’s old pile of homework from second grade. from funny
4. This absolutely brutal honesty:
Honesty in my son's homework from funny
5. This sibling who seems to hate sharing:
My six-year-old brother's homework answers from funny
6. This very logical answer:
My 8-year-old son takes his homework directions literally from funny
7. This student who simply did what they were asked:
This 9 year old is already a pro at cutting corners on homework from funny
8. This reasonable response:
Checked in on the little dude's homework and this made me chuckle. from funny
9. This response that made me say, "DAMMMN":
Potentially the best answer my daughter has ever given on a worksheet from funny
10. This student who simply knows her limits:
This is how my step sister answered her math problem from funny
11. This answer that's not technically wrong:
Yay! A great solution to a tough math problem from funny
12. This student who should get extra credit for creativity:
When your essay is too short from funny
13. This answer straight out of a philosophy book:
My Friends Opinion On Her Homework from funny
14. This response that's at least self-aware:
Checking my kindergartener’s homework to find this answer from funny
15. And finally, this parent who absolutely understood the assignment:
Helped my son with his homework. I hope the teacher gets a good laugh. from funny
HT/ r/funny
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51 Best Homework Excuses (Serious, Funny, Strict Teachers)
Homework. No one wants to do it. But no one wants to get in trouble either. So, here are some of the best homework excuses that are serious, funny, and might even work for strict teachers!
As a teacher myself, I’ve heard most of these excuses. I laughed at a few and rolled my eyes at most.
At the end of the day, you’re only going to get away with not doing homework if you’ve got a solid excuse and a bunch of evidence to back it up. Good luck!
Read Also: 27 Pros and Cons of Homework
Cliché Homework Excuses
These are terrible homework excuses that, really, students should avoid. They might be fun to use, but most of them have been over-used. Your teacher won’t believe you unless you’ve brought some evidence along with you.
1. My Dog ate my Homework. Look, no one’s ever going to believe this one. Maybe avoid it unless you want to spend lunch time inside catching up.
2. My Computer Broke. This one’s more believable but it’s been over-used. Thanks to all the liars out there, this homework excuse is well and truly ruined.
3. My Mom Forgot It. Nothing like blaming your mother for your own failures. Most teachers would probably tell you to take a little personal responsibility and send you on your way.
4. The Internet was Out. As believable as any excuse, your teacher might tell you that you’d better buy yourself an old hardback encyclopedia.
5. My Grandma Died. Again. The oldest excuse in the book, I always ask for evidence of this. Some people seem to have 15 grandmas.
6. The Older Kids Took it off me and Tore it Up. Chances are, your teacher’s going to be very concerned by this. They might even escalate this to a disciplinary issue!
Related: A List of Extension Excuses for College Students
Funny Homework Excuses
These ones might get a laugh out of your teacher and your classmates. But, you’re not likely to get out of trouble in the long run.
7. My Mother wanted to Display it on the Fridge. You might get a few laughs from your friends out of this one. But, your teacher is going to tell you to go home, take it off the fridge, and bring it to class!
8. The Police Confiscated it as Evidence. This one might make your teacher pause and wonder. Why is it confiscated? Is it so poorly written that the police consider it an outrage? Maybe your joke will deflect them from punishing you, though.
9. I was Abducted by Aliens and They took It. If your teacher believes this one, let me know. I’ve got some air guitars to sell them.
10. I sent it to you in the Post. In this day and age, you might have to tell your teacher they should wait a few months to it arrive. The postal service isn’t what it used to be.
11. My Dad mistook it for a Letter and Posted it to China. Funny, but clearly not true. Your teacher is going to ask one simple question: why is your dad sending letters to China?
12. I had to burn it in the Fireplace to keep myself Warm. Like Pablo Escobar burning cash, you’ve thrown caution to the wind and thrown your homework book into the fire because, well, if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have survived the freezing cold night.
13. It flew out the Window of the Car. Just picture it. You’re frantically doing your homework on the drive to school. Your dad winds down the window and – woosh – the homework’s gone for good. And class is in just 15 minutes!
14. I thought I’d do it Tomorrow because I’ll be Older and Wiser Then. A clever joke, but you’re probably going to be known as the class clown from that moment onwa rd!
15. I did my Work. It’s all Up Here in my Head. Be prepared for your teacher to give you a snap quiz on the spot if you’re bold enough to say you’ve got it all in your head! But, if you pull it off, maybe you’ll get away without too much trouble.
16. I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to add to your Workload. Sure, it sounds nice, but your teacher will see right through this cheeky response. But hey, when you’ve got nothing to lose it’s worth a try.
17. My Hand fell Asleep and I didn’t want to Wake It. Imagine you were trying so hard to do your homework and write down those answers. But, your hand just wouldn’t obey your command!
18. My Cat ate it knowing that I’d Blame the Dog. This one’s a funny twist on “my dog ate my homework” that might just get a laugh out of your teacher (and a little bit of leniency).
Related: Excuses for Skipping Class in College
Excuses For Strict Teachers
Okay, here’s where things get serious. If you’ve got a teacher who you know is going to be mad, you need to come into this with a plan. Usually, that means providing evidence to support your excuse.
19. I was Sick. And I have a Sick Note. Being sick (genuinely!) is one of the few reasons for not doing your homework that might actually work. You’re going to want to be able to present a note from your parent and maybe even a doctor.
20. My Mother or Father went to Hospital. And here’s the Sick Note. If your mom or dad is in hospital, chances are you’re going to get a free pass. Bring evidence, even if it’s a photo of dad in the hospital bed with tubes coming out of his nose!
21. My Computer Screen Broke. And here’s a Picture. I’ve actually gotten this one from students a few times and it really took me back. I thought: “is this legit, or is this image from 3 years ago?” A receipt from the computer repair store with a date on it is usually a better piece of evidence. But then again, why didn’t you go to the library?
22. The computer broke, but here are my hand-written notes. I’m usually pretty impressed by this excuse. Your computer broke, but you still made the effort to give the homework a go anyway. Great resilience!
23. The wi-fi didn’t work, but here are my hand-written notes. This excuse is very similar to the previous one. If you turn up with nothing and say the wi-fi broke, the teacher probably won’t accept that excuse. But if you actually tried to write some notes anyway, well done!
24. I wasn’t here when the work was assigned. This is an excellent homework excuse for strict teachers. It’s really quite legitimate. How were you supposed to know you had homework!?
25. I tried, but I didn’t understand the Instructions. This puts the onus back on the teacher. Why didn’t they provide clearer instructions? It’s usually a good idea to show some evidence that you at least gave it a go, though.
26. I volunteer at the soup kitchen on Monday Nights. Everyone loves a good Samaritan. If it gets you out of homework, well, that’s just the universe giving you good karma.
27. I’m so sorry. I thought it was right here in my Bag! This one helps show that it at least is a genuine mistake.
28. I had way too much Homework for my other Class. Follow this one up with “You should talk to that teacher about how their overbearing homework requirements are impacting your students!”
29. The Library was Closed and I don’t have Internet at Home. This one might get you a little more sympathy. The fact you don’t have internet at home means you’re not as privileged as many other kids, so your teacher might let you off lightly.
Related: Fun Things to do when Bored in Class
Truthful Homework Excuses
30. I was too busy doing something more important. Your teacher is instantly going to say “what was more important than your education?” Don’t respond with “video games.”
31. My parents kept me really busy on the weekend. But I promise I’ll do it tonight. One thing I would say about this excuse is that you’re saying “Hey, take it up with my parents. I wanted to do some homework!” But, you’re also saying you’ve got a plan to get it done asap.
32. I was at football practice all night. Many teachers will still say “learning comes before sports” (which, as a teacher, I agree with). But, you’ve got a leg to stand on here. You don’t want to let your team down, which is fair.
33. I did my homework, but I left it at home. This excuse does show that you at least put the effort in. But, you failed at the finish line! Come to class tomorrow with the homework and you’ll win back some respect from your teacher.
34. I forgot I even had homework. Hey, it’s truthful. But you’re not going to get any sympathy for this one.
35. The computer didn’t break. It was the Printer this time! An excuse that’s almost as bad as “my computer broke”, the printer issues excuse at least needs some photographic evidence to back it up. And, why didn’t you email the homework to your teacher?
36. I had a Headache. Headaches are the worst. As a teacher myself, I’d probably have a little sympathy for this excuse if it’s a one-off. But, I’d expect my student to bring a note from the parent to corroborate the story.
37. The homework was far too Easy. This isn’t a good reason not to do homework. Your teacher is going to expect you to absolutely ace your next test.
38. My tutor accidentally took it home with them. Nothing like blaming your tutor for your own problems. As a teacher, I’d probably roll my eyes and tell you that you need to keep better track of your things.
39. I accidentally squished it in the bottom of my bag and now it’s got rotten apple juice all over it. This one’s funny to me because, well, as a kid this always used to happen to me. Rotten bananas were usually the culprit.
40. I spilled cereal all over it because I was doing it over breakfast. This sounds believable. I would tell my student the should at least show me the ruined homework as evidence. And, I’d also tell them that breakfast isn’t the best time to do your homework.
See a List of 11 Homework Statistics
Blame the Parents
41. My parents don’t believe in homework and won’t let me do it. There are some parents like this. If a student said this to me, I’d be on the phone to the parents. So, if you don’t want your teacher to call your parents, don’t use this excuse.
42. My mother said band practice was more important. It’s really hard for teachers to argue with parents via the student. But in my experience the teacher usually responds with: “you need to have better organization skills to get all of these things done in your own time!”
43. I help my father at work on a Tuesday afternoon. I just can’t get it done on Tuesdays. Once again, the teacher is likely going to tell you to have more organization skills. But, you might occasionally get an extension out of this. Especially if you let the teacher know in advance.
44. My father looked at it, said it was outrageous government indoctrination, and told me not to do it. While I think this is hilarious, it’s also something that happens a lot these days. Why is this world so divided? Science isn’t controversial, people!
45. My mother was looking over my homework and forgot to give it back to me. Okay, time for me to put my teacher voice on: “She didn’t forget to give it back to you. You forgot to ask for it back.”
46. My mother threw it in the trash. This must have been frustrating to you! A teacher with a quick wit will respond: “it shouldn’t have looked like trash then. You must have done a bad job!” Or, a more serious teacher might just tell you that you need to be more organized net time.
Blame the Teachers
47. You give too much Homework. There are plenty of people out there in this world who think teachers do give too much homework. They believe it’s not fair and it’s preventing children from leading a balanced and healthy life.
48. Your instructions are impossible to understand. This one really puts the pressure back on the teacher because you’re basically telling them that they’re bad at their job.
49. This was way too hard for me. You need to give me more guidance. Sometimes, it’s true, teachers do assign homework that’s way too hard. You do need to be resourceful and find ways to learn yourself. But at the same time, the teacher really should know better.
50. The homework is too easy. It’s a complete waste of my time. Assigning homework is like playing Goldilocks. It can’t be too hard, can’t be too easy.
51. Between you and all my other teachers, you’re assigning hours of homework every night. You all need to get together and resolve this. This one’s surely going to set a cat amongst the pigeons. The teachers are going to talk about this at their next staff meeting. But, they might coordinate and come back at you as a united front!
FAQ: How to Get Out of Doing Homework?
The best ways to get out of doing homework are to:
- Let the teacher know in advance that you won’t be able to do it. Teachers respond better when you give them an excuse before time, not after.
- Bring evidence of why you didn’t do it. If you want your teacher to truly believe your excuse, you need evidence. This can be notes, photos, receipts, or anything else proving your story is true.
Really, the best way to avoid any issues is to just do the homework in the first place. But if you’re reading this article, chances are the horses have left the stable. You’re at a stage where you’ve got to come up with an excuse because in 10 minutes your teacher is going to be asking you why you haven’t done anything!
Well, good luck with that! I hope you don’t get into too much trouble, but I also hope you learn that next time the best solution is to just get that homework done in advance.
Chris Drew (PhD)
Dr. Chris Drew is the founder of the Helpful Professor. He holds a PhD in education and has published over 20 articles in scholarly journals. He is the former editor of the Journal of Learning Development in Higher Education.
- Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/admin/ 12 Deindividuation Examples
- Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/admin/ What do Portuguese People Look Like? (10 Features & Stereotypes)
- Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/admin/ What do Spanish People Look Like? (Features & Stereotypes)
- Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/admin/ 10 Italian People Features & Stereotypes (What They Look Like)
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Uncategorized | May 7, 2010
Hilarious kid stories shared by real teachers
By Angela Watson
Founder and Writer
This is a collection of stories teachers have emailed me that started with posts from the Teachers.net Primary Education chat board (which has since been divided into separate grade levels). Someone on the board came up with the idea to post the funniest classroom stories, and what follows are hilarious TRUE tales from classrooms all across America that I copied and pasted from the chat board, combined with the awesome stories that you all email to me. Because the teachers don’t use their real names on the boards (or often, any names at all), I haven’t been able to give credit to the contributors. If you recognize any of the anecdotes below and would like to add your name to it, please email me. (Many of these anecdotes could be incriminating, though, so anonymity is probably best!) Old posts are not archived at Teachers.net, so this is the only place you’ll find the collection of stories below. I’ve divided them into classic kid moments and classic parent moments (encounters with students’ parents). Enjoy!!
True teacher stories: Funny stuff kids say in the classroom
During the Christmas/holiday classroom party, a boy comes up to me with a gift bag (obviously re-used) and says: “Here teacher…my mom got this present and she didn’t want it and she called everyone in our family and they didn’t want it either so she said to just bring it to school and give it to you!” I love how they tell the truth! If their parents only knew how much they really tell us
Mine happened at the beginning of this year. At one point all the students were doing their assignments and on task. It was a lovely few minutes! LOL Anyway, this one girl all of a sudden yelled out “I’m tired of this! Raise your hand if you want to go home!” Well, of course most of the class raised their hands and that lovely time was over. She reminds me, in some ways, of Junie B Jones and I think that comment is something she might say. I try to laugh them off (in my head) but oh, how sometimes it’s really a challenge.
As Christmas approached, a boy announced that Santa Claus isn’t real. One of my bright students tearfully said, “Ms. A., he’s disrespecting my religious beliefs!”
Earlier this year I was approached by one of my kindergarteners in tears. I asked her what was wrong. “____ just called me a baby!” I called the other little girl over and said,” Did you just call ____a baby?” “No, no, no!” shouted the little girl. “I said ‘Hey baby!’ You know like the mom said to the dad when she calls him and wants him to come over for the night.”
Student A didn’t do her homework and told me that she couldn’t because her mom made her go buy a new cat that night and she wanted to play with the cat instead and her mom said it was okay… This story checked out. A phone call later, mom says yes, she was too tired from playing with her cat so she didn’t see the need for her to do her homework. She’ll do it another time.
This was definitely a classic moment that I heard through my cooperating teacher during my student teaching experience. I still laugh at the thought. While grading science tests for her third grade class, this teacher noticed a memorable response to one of the questions. It said: ‘Please list the three states of matter…’. The reply was, “North Carolina, Virginia, and Kentucky.” The three states THAT matter! HA!
I teach third grade. About a month ago we had a sick student who was out for a couple of weeks. I told my class that I would get some things for him, we would make some get well cards and send it all to the boy. I got some things from Wal-Mart and left them in my truck. I asked three of my boys to go to my truck (parked right outside our door) and get the items from the backseat. I gave one of the boys a list– model airplane, poster to color, crossword puzzle etc… When they came back into the room he was holding several sacks. I could see that one of the small sacks held a box of tampons. (I forgot they were back there.) My teaching partner was in my room and before I could do anything the boy took them out of the sack, held them up over his head and yells, “I guess this is the crossword puzzle.” My co-teacher and I were both so red and trying not to laugh that I just said, “Uh-huh” and put the box back in the bag. His mom is an Assistant Principal on another campus. I emailed her to tell her the story and so that she would know if they were ever on the feminine product aisle and he asked for a crossword puzzle she would know what he meant. She thought it was too funny.
Many years ago, when I was teaching 5th grade, I was grading students’ science homework papers. One of the questions was “Who developed the system of naming organisms?” or something like that. Anyway, the correct answer was supposed to be Carl Linnaeus. One of my students wrote ‘Adam’ for his answer. When I questioned him about it, he said he was referring to Adam in the Bible. He had learned in Sunday School that Adam had named all the animals in the Garden of Eden. Guess what? I counted his answer correct!
I just remembered another one. I was teaching at a Christian school at the time, and we did a week-long study of Martin Luther. We learned all about the Protestant Reformation and Luther’s life. At the end of the unit, the book had a picture of Martin Luther. When one student saw it, his response was, “I always thought that guy was black.”
My first week of my first year of teaching, I turned my head for a moment during an art project and I had two students cut their hair!! I’ll never forget that! [I also had this happen. The child had about fifty braids on her head and one got snipped off. The parent was so furious that she demanded her child be removed from my class! The principal was so dumbfounded he just told her to think that over and if she still really wanted to take her out of my class the next day, he would do it. She called the next day and apologized, hehe. –Angela].
One I will NEVER forget… I was teaching kinder in South Los Angeles: rough neighborhood, gangs, prostitutes, drugs, etc. So, I never knew what was going to come out of my students’ mouths. We had a few tricycles on our little playground and only one red one. Well, one of my kids loved that red bike. We came out to recess and another little boy was on it. My student went up to this boy, put his hands on the handlebars, and said, “Get of the bike, b****!”
My first year of teaching I had a boy named Patrick who never hung up his coat. I was tired of it and I warned him that it was going in the trash can the next time I found it on the floor. Well, the next time it happened…I threw it in the trash, with the good intention of taking it out within a few minutes. Within that few minutes a student felt sick and vomited in the trash can! Did I have some explaining to do to the parents. I was very lucky because I knew the parent and had worked with him before I became a teacher. I called him to explain, and he laughed and said they had the same problem with him at home. Boy, was I lucky. I offered to get it dry cleaned, but they said “No. Send it home in a garbage bag!”
My students were sitting around talking about what their dads do for a living. One of mine said “My dad fixes boobies!” I later asked the mom what dad did. She replied, “He is an anesthesiologist”. I told her the comment, and she told us that relatives had recently asked dad what his favorite surgery was. He said boob jobs, because he sits at the patient’s eye level and gets to tell the dr. if they are even!!! Apparently junior overheard the conversation. I laugh about this every time I think about it!
I teach kindergarten and when I was urging a student to get down to work, he looked up and me and said, “You do know that I didn’t sign up for this. My dad did it.”
My first year of teaching I had a terribly naughty little boy (he tried to pull the fire alarm on the first day of school). About midway through the year he drew a picture at free time and brought it up to show me. He pointed to the pictures saying, “Look, this is me and on my shoulders I drew those two guys that tell you to do good things or bad things… I like to listen to the bad one!” It was so funny (and true) all I could do was hug him and laugh!
Another time we had been talking about healthy eating and our bodies and one boy raised his hand and said, “If you look at your arms you can see the VINES inside your body.”
One moment happened several years ago when I taught grade one. Each primary class had received one of those colorful carpets with the seven continents on it. Well, day 2 of having this carpet, Andre got very sick, and threw up. When his dad came to take him home, Andre proudly says, “Daddy, I threw up all over North America AND South America!”
This one came from my then 4-year old grandson…I had promised to take him to the local ice cream shop one summer evening. He had been playing with some neighborhood friends and if we were going to get to the shop before it closed we needed to leave. As I put him in the car, he protested because he wanted to play some more. Well, we were driving and I turned to him and asked, “What kind of ice cream are you going to get tonight?’ He would not answer me. So I turned to my husband who was driving and said, “I guess I’m getting the silent treatment.” From the backseat we heard, “I don’t think they have that kind.”
I was teaching in a rural school district in a town of about 1200 people. It was 3rd grade. We were discussing Native American Indians. The kids were really into the discussion, when one little girl named Alysha raised her hand and said, “I know a whole lot about Native American Indians!” I said, “Oh you do? She said, “Yes, the reason I know so much about them is because my daddy is FULL BLOODED REDNECK!”
My favorite came from child in my pre-first grade class. He’d been gone for several days because his grandfather had passed away. When he returned I told him we’d missed him. He told me, “I had to go to Iowa because my grandpa died and I had to be at the back and be a polar bear.” When I called the mom to share that with her, she told me that indeed, all the grandsons ages six to adult had been the pallbearers. I’ve never been to a funeral since that I don’t think of that and smile.
It was the beginning of a new school year and it was still quite hot outside. I finally got my first graders on target one afternoon and was really quite happy with how the math lesson was going. At the same time one of my students who had a speech problem was scratching away at about 50 mosquito bites on his legs (I am not kidding). Right in the middle of the lesson, Christopher YELLS…”Mithuth. ____, theeth mothquito biteth are a pain in the ath.” Before I could think, I said, “Christopher, what did you say?” And, he repeated it again! I had a terrible time trying to keep from laughing! I sent him right to the nurse for some cream!
Just the other day in first… One of my shyest little boys wasn’t doing his work so I walked over to him and just as I bent down, he tells the little girl across from him, “You are just so beautiful, I can’t stop staring at you!” At least I knew why he wasn’t working!
I have a student whose father is a biology professor at a local college and is mother in a high school resource teacher. For Valentine’s Day he made a card for his dad with a beaker on it, saying “to a great biology teacher.” On the other side, for his mom, it said, “to whatever kind of teacher you are”.
Once while playing checkers with a 2nd grader, I was asked what my favorite things were. I wasn’t sure what to say, so just to be funny I said, “Oh, I think my favorite things are new shoes and clean socks!” “Well if you like clean socks,” he said with honest eyes, “you’re playing with the wrong kid!” I laughed till I cried and he laughed too!
After falling during morning recess and hurting his thumb, a boy told me during a math lesson “I can’t do math today.” When I asked why he said “Because it hurts when I make a 9.” (He was using his fingers to add!!!) I told him to make the “four” with his other hand!
This year, I worked with BSI [a special education program?], and would pull students out of classrooms to work with me. Many of the children would raise their hands and ask to go with me. One day, toward the end of the year, their classroom teacher said, “What, no one wants to stay here with me?” Well, one little girl that I worked with said, “Don’t worry Mrs. Smith, I like you better.” Mrs. Smith said, “Oh no, don’t say that in front of Mrs. Morrison!” Then the little girl said, “Well, not by that much!” I could not stop laughing!
I have 10 girls and 5 boys in my 2nd grade class this year. All the girls are utterly and completely horse crazy! I found this note on the floor after school one day. Obviously someone was daydreaming and having a horse ranch owners fantasy… 9:00 – build barn, 10:00 – make a fence, 11:00 – catch horses, 12:00 – train horses, 1:00 – ride horses, 2:00 – brush horses. I had to show the other teachers. It was so well thought out, but maybe a bit ambitious! Did I mention we were doing a math unit on time?
One year, in a second grade classroom, we read a story about a little girl who flew around the world and saw many different things, one of which was the Statue of Liberty. When the students were asked to name something she saw on her journey, a little boy said the Spatula Delivery! Too cute!
[Love this one!] Last year’s class was probably the sweetest group of kids I’ve worked with. One day it was getting close to recess and I had a few kids off task. I reminded them that before we could go outside there were certain things that needed to be done and, just for emphasis, I held up my plan book and pointed to the day’s agenda. One little boy’s eyes widened in surprise and he blurted out, “Omigod! You mean you write this stuff down?!”
Share YOUR Stories!
Every teacher has hilarious tales from the classroom–add yours in the comments below!
Angela Watson
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During our library time, the week of St. Patricks Day, our school librarian had my second grade students watch a video of irish dancers. Since we are from a rural community in Central Missouri, she thought she would help them make a connection by comparing the dancers to cloggers that we have see at our local city festival. She however did not expect one of my little darlings to make a connection in another way. He turned around and said to me, “I can clog… A TOILET!!!!” I almost cried I was laughing so hard.
Haha my child did that
Hahah I put that
On my very first official observation in October of my first year teaching a 7th/8th self-contained bridge class, I was continuing our narrative writing brainstorming. We had already completed the past and present and were brainstorming goals and aspirations. The students took the time to write down 5 things they would like to achieve in their futures (the instructions were much more expliciti). I then had them turn and talk and present to the class. All was going well until I reached O. O says “I would like to be three things. A Basketball player and a chef.” Knowing O, I knew to move on; so I did. My AP cuts in and says “Wait O. What was the third thing?” O smiled and my heart sank. O very proudly replied “I wanna be a pornstar!” to which his best friend chimes in “cuz you gots to please the b—–s!” The kids died laughing and I just died. Fortunately my AP pulled me into her office, told me she should have seen that coming (O was infamous) and reassured me that I wasn’y going to get a U.
These are great stories! Normally, I respond personally to every comment on the site, but I don’t want to do that for the funny stories. I’m going to just let site visitors read them through without my interruption! But, please know I really appreciate the time you all take to post. Carry on!
Mrs. Brittany, That is hilarious! I died laughing. I once had a student say the exact same thing, only it wasn’t even close to funny because he is in the 10th grade.
Every year at the beginning of the school year, my husband comes in and I introduce him to my Kindergarten class. I tell them how long we have been married and show them a picture of our family. My husband will usually take a few minutes to talk to them, also. On this particular occasion, after the short introduction, I told him goodbye and gave him a quick peck on the lips. As he turned to leave, one of my little girls sitting in the front turns to her friend and says “Do you think she kisses all the parents?!”. I just about died laughing.
I teach 2nd grade and we adopted a new reading program this year – Reading Street by Scott Foresman (I love it – great stories). Each week we have “amazing words.” One week we had the word inquire. I asked if anyone knew what the word meant. One child said, “It’s when you sing in church.”
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18 Funny Homework Answers from Kids Who Are Going Places
These snarky students are smart alecks at heart.
- Holiday Humor
When you're a student , homework is an unavoidable fact of life. Kids these days often face hours of homework assignments each week—it's no wonder that some of their answers turn out a little snarky.
Lucky for us, the funniest homework answers often end up on the Internet, courtesy of amused parents or teachers . Some of these students are being deliberately funny; others may very well be trying ( and failing ) to find the right answer. We think every single one of them deserves a place in the Smart Aleck Hall of Fame .
Extra Credit for the Snazzy Drawing
"Show your thinking?"
Challenge accepted!
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"What do you need to find?"
"The answer."
Thank you, Captain Obvious. That's really helpful .
Just Following the Directions
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The assignment said to write "< or >" so that's exactly what this student did. What's the problem here?
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You know what they say — never trust a fart.
For those who may not know, "shart" is slang for what happens when you do trust a fart. Use your imagination.
That's Just Your Opinion
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Some say Tony is disciplined and loves music. Others say Tony is probably a huge nerd. No shame in that game, Tony!
Seems Legit
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Why do we know anything , Sharon? Because we're SMART!
Somebody give this kid a scholarship.
Don't Be Silly, Kid
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(webp)/funny-kids-homework-6-5b2baa1a8e1b6e003e960723.jpg "funny homework stories")
Pssh. "Tedison" is not even a real name... but we totally wish it was.
Failing Biology and Acing Zoology
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Sure, this student doesn't know the difference between an ovary and a fallopian tube, but check out that kick-butt tiger face! Points for creativity?
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Find X? No problem, there it is. It was right there all along! How did you miss that, Teach?
The Metric System Is Confusing
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We can partially blame the American system of measurement for this one, but this student also gets bonus points for the sheer genius of the utterly sarcastic remark.
So Wrong, Yet So Right
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Again, this answer isn't even wrong. It's technically totally, 100% correct! Maybe the teacher needs to rethink those test questions.
(Nah, not really.)
"April Ham Lincoln."
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Remember what the great former president April Ham Lincoln once said: "Four scones and seven beers ago."
Wait, that's not right. Or is it?
An Example of Being Too Honest
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This sounds like something out of "Breaking Bad." We really, REALLY hope this is a little kid spelling error situation.
She Must Work at the School in #13
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Some teachers will go above and beyond to bond with their students, but this is ridiculous. Get your act together, Mrs. Edwards!
I See How It Is at Your House...
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This is an actual quote from a first grade student. How did the teacher not die laughing?!
Comedian Chris Rock once famously said, "As a father, you have only one job to do: Keep your daughter off the pole!"
Clearly, this kid's family has some work to do in that department.
Hold Up There, Buddy
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From "I like to play football" to "I am a god" in just a few short sentences. That's quite a leap!
Tell the truth: this is Tom Brady 's homework from 30 years ago, isn't it?
That's Extremely Literal
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The difference between six and eight IS that eight is more curly. That's not silly – it's just accurate.
Okay, so I never did that well in math class either. Sue me.
She Deserves Extra Credit
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We'll end on a positive note. This student followed directions to the letter and did exactly what she was told to do:
"Write a story to go with this picture. Use capitals and punctuation."
She not only created a funny story about this really, really weird picture of a cat overseeing a pile of hot dogs, but she also used CAPITALS and lots of exclamation points. Who cares what the teacher thought — this kid deserves an A+!
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Funny stories
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- 5 cents short
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Today, when my teacher was checking us all for out homework, one kid tried to be funny and said "Don't worry about it" and the teacher just laughed and carried on with her business. But when she got to this one other guy, he said "Don't force your religion on me", he got written up for verbal abuse. ...
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53 hilarious homework answers from kids that are so wrong, they’re right.
by Megan Zander
Megan Zander
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Since the dawn of time, kids have hated homework. And can you blame them? It’s a total drag — but there are ways to keep things interesting.
Case in point: These hilarious homework answers. Whether the kids who completed these assignments are dead serious or just pulling their teacher’s leg, we can’t help but applaud their efforts.
Originally published June 2016. Updated June 2017.
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